Category Archives: The Writing Life

Texas Heart Shot

There’s a ton of preamble I could put here, but let me set this tale with three twenty-year-old college students living for two months in the deep backcountry of Alaska. Deep. I’m talking deeper than Deliverance deep, but without any amorous hillbillies. To get there, we drove seven hours over an undulating strip of ragged pavement stretching across tundra under stormy skies. We flew 120 miles in a single-engine crate to land at an airstrip cut out of thick forest. We rode ATVs another seven miles to an extinct mining camp built and abandoned in the 40s. We took up residence smack-dab in the middle of the Wrangell Mountains.

We laid modern sleeping bags over rusty cots and draped mosquito netting over our heads. We coated ourselves in mosquito dope (that’s repellent to normal people) and spent a good portion of our days digging into the side of a riverbank and panning for gold. I could relate how I almost drowned in the river. I could tell you of the rainy afternoon when one of my buddies fired his .44 magnum past my head while we were sitting at our rickety dinner table.

However, this story about is the still vivid memory of watching that same guy—the one with the .44—sprinting down one side of a mountain saddle and up the other in hot pursuit of a wounded mountain goat.

I’m literally laughing as I type this. Don’t worry, though, this story has a happy ending.

About three weeks into our trip, my buddy and I got it into our heads that we’d go hunt and subsequently eat a mountain goat. His uncle (a then-resident of Alaska and facilitator of this trip) had encouraged us to break federal law and go poaching.

Yes, it was a monumentally stupid idea.

What can I say? We were twenty-year-old big-dumb-males taking advice from a questionable source. The uncle in question had fled to Alaska in the 70s to escape the draft, squatted an entire mountain valley, married an eskimo, and then sold the squatted land back to the government for some millions of dollars.

But I digress.

One bright, sunny morning, my buddy and I set out on “The Hunting Trip”… me with my .357 and he with is open sight 30-6. We hiked all morning from our already elevated campsite, through mosquito-infested underbrush and the occasional sign of grizzly bear, in search of our prey.

We hiked over several peaks searching for any sign of mountain goats. After the third peak, we were starting to get a bit discouraged, and, frankly, I was running out of steam. The thought of butchering a goat on the side of a mountain and hauling it back to our camp was starting to feel like an even worse idea than when we started.

However, my buddy is one of those guys that simply doesn’t give up. Ever. He’s what I like to refer to as dogged and relentless. He was committed, therefore, I was too. At the crest of the fourth peak, he stopped dead in his tracks, held up his hand and went down into a crouch.

The game was afoot, as Sherlock would say. Of course, Sherlock Holmes would have been smart enough not to be in that situation to begin with. We crept over the lip of the peak, and a small group of lazily grazing mountain goats came into view high on the far side of a grassy, rock-strewn saddle. They were a few hundred yards away. My buddy whispered that we needed to move closer so he could take a shot. We went into crouches, inching our way down the hill. Obviously, crouching would ease the suspicious minds of the goats. I should add that they just kept grazing. We were probably the first humans they’d ever seen.

Eventually, about 150 yards away, my buddy slowly unslung his rifle and went down onto one knee. It was an up-angle shot, so he couldn’t lay prone. I paused about ten feet behind him, crouched low, and held my breath as he took aim.

Seconds ticked by. More seconds. I looked at him, wondering if he was having second thoughts.

BANG!!!

His first shot rang out, echoing across the mountains around us. Adrenaline pumped through my system. I looked up the hill and saw a small cloud of dust drifting away about thirty feet high and to the right of the nearest goat. To my surprise, the goats shuffled left a bit and went right back to grazing. My buddy quickly chambered another round and took aim.

BANG!!!

“High and to the right again,” I said over his shoulder. His shot was closer this time—about twenty feet—but the goats still seemed oblivious. They shuffled a little farther left again and went right back to grazing. My buddy darted forward thirty feet and took aim.

BANG!!!

Another miss, I thought. I was laughing inside. The shot hit about ten feet behind one of the goats, and this time it ran up the hill and curved back, finally settling down and looking around, roughly fifty feet from where it had started.

I just couldn’t believe it: three misses and the goats apparently unaware of what was going on. It was laughable, ridiculous, comical. I felt like I was in a sit-com episode. And we weren’t even finished.

My buddy quickly took aim again, clearly frustrated by the failures.

BANG!!!

He snapped a shot off, and this time the goat bolted.

“You hit it!” I shouted. However, the expectant “prey dropping to the ground” moment didn’t happen. We were shocked and appalled to see the whole heard tearing straight up the mountain.

All I could do was stare. The first thing I thought was that the goat was injured and would end up dying miles away. It would have been wasteful on our part, even shameful. It was about that time I realized what a bad idea the outing had been. I keep reminding myself that twenty-year-olds are not well known for comprehending consequences.

My buddy, however—the dogged and relentless one—did more than stare. He went streaking after them, losing his straw cowboy hat in the process. Did I mention he was on the track team? Javelin thrower. Weight lifter. Runner. He raced down what was left of our side of the saddle and started up the other just as the goats disappeared over the next ridgeline. My buddy didn’t even slow down. He tore up the far side of the saddle, rifle in hand, intent on finishing what he started. We were pretty much committed now, but I knew that there was no way I could keep up with him, let alone the goats.

As he was halfway up the other side, he shouted back, “Head back to camp!” I have to admit, I was torn. Part of me wanted to follow along and help. However, common sense got the best of me. I retrieved his hat and headed back where I waited with our other friend, the one smart enough not to go. Naturally, my buddy came back empty-handed, but we at least got the rest of the story, which was a relief to us all.

“Did you get it?” I asked with mixed feelings about the whole thing.

“No,” he replied.

“But what about the goat?” Our folly was really starting to hit home. “You hit it.” I was worried that it would die out there and we would be responsible for wasting that life.

“It was a Texas heart shot,” he replied, a great deal of embarrassment on his face.

“A what?”

“A Texas heart shot,” he repeated. “I grazed its ass. Barely nicked it. It’ll be fine.”

It was too much. I’d already told the friend who stayed behind what I could, and at that point the two of us just cracked up. We couldn’t stop laughing.

To this day, we still talk about “The Hunting Trip” in Alaska where there is at least one mountain goat who would rather not have met humans. It is our belief that he lived a long life with a wary understanding of how stupid twenty-year-old big-dumb-males can be.

Haunted Hospital

A guest post by Paul Genesse.

Haunted hospital

I worked the night shift in a haunted hospital for ten years. The building was over a hundred years old and thousands of people had died there. I’m not going to mention the name of the facility, but it’s a famous hospital in Utah, where I started working in the late 90’s.

I ended up on a cardiac floor where people didn’t die that often, but we had the most code blues of any other non-intensive care unit in the whole facility. People with heart conditions are on the brink of death and their hearts often give out suddenly.

We nurses were always on edge, and whenever a patient said, “I’m going to die tonight,” we would always reassure them in their room, but when we left we would freak out and go and tell someone immediately. Very often, when the patient made that ominous prediction, they were right. A few hours later, they would die. It was super creepy.

I had several personal experiences with the supernatural while working there, and I collected a lot of the stories from that hospital over the years. One of strangest involved a close friend of mine, Nick (not his real name) with whom I worked with for many years. Nick was working the night shift when a doctor in a long white coat walked down the hallway toward a dead end section of rooms with no exit. My friend was sitting down and was nearly half-asleep and thought it was odd to see an MD coming at that time of night, around 3:00 AM, to see a patient.

A few minutes after the doctor walked by, a call light went off in that section. Nick answered the call by going to the room immediately. The patient was wide awake, with all his lights on. Moments before the patient had been in a deep sleep. Nick asked, “Do you need some help?” The patient was excited and said, “My brother just came to visit me.”

There was no sign of the brother in the room. Nick was confused, as he did not see anyone leave the area. The brother was not in the bathroom or in the other three rooms in that section. There was no way he could have left without Nick seeing him.

Nick said something like, “Where is he now?” The patient had a stunned expression on his face and said, “My brother has been dead for seven years!”

The brother had died in the same hospital, but on a different floor. Nick asked about the conversation they had. The dead brother told his younger sibling that he should not worry, and that he was going to survive this illness.

The patient went home a few days later.

This even really happened. The man lived through his health scare and went home.

Nick was a skeptic about ghosts until this event, but not any more.

I could go on about ghost stories in this hospital, and I’ll tell a few more.

A friend of mine, Emily (not her real name) was working in an ICU at this hospital and witnessed haunting activity in a specific room soon after a particularly nasty and disoriented male patient had died. The ghost would touch staff, creep them out with an ominous presence, and scare the current patients staying in that room—who would ask who the tall man was. Emily would ask for someone to go in with her after some frightening experiences. That’s how scared she was.

Once, this nasty ghost was seen manifesting as a full-bodied apparition in the doorway of the room where he died. This event freaked out a different nurse really badly. As far as I know, this was the first time anyone had seen the ghost as a full-bodied apparition, but the strangest thing about this was that the spirit had a breathing tube (an endotracheal tube) dangling from his mouth. He seemed to be choking and reaching out for help as he stood in the doorway. The man was very tall and big, so he was quite intimidating.

 

Emily quit her job and transferred to a different hospital. She could not face the haunting activity any longer.

I could go on as I have a stack of stories about supernatural events, including poltergeist activity, disembodied voices, apparitions, and more.

I’m so glad I don’t work at that hospital anymore. Whenever I walked into that place, dark and troubling energies would hit me. I had to learn how to block them out. To this day there are reports of supernatural events there, especially on certain floors that are now abandoned. The security guards who patrol the place have seen and heard all sorts of disturbing things—people calling for help when no one is there, and they see shadows moving in abandoned patient rooms. TV’s and call lights go on randomly in vacant rooms all the time.

Healthcare workers are pretty tough people overall, but just walking down to the cafeteria in the middle of the night was frightening for some of my friends. Those dark hallways filled with shadows and that odd vibe was especially disturbing for the more sensitive staff.

Some people are skeptical about ghosts and the supernatural. I think that’s fine and very reasonable. Not believing in the paranormal is a great defense mechanism. You don’t see things when the more sensitive people do. Personally, it’s worked for me in the past. I’d much rather not see scary things, even though, at the edge of my peripheral vision, I know they’re there.

Paul GenesseGuest Writer Bio:   Paul Genesse is the author of The Golden Cord, The Dragon Hunters, and The Secret Empire, the first three books in his Iron Dragon Series. He has sold several short stories—many of which involve ghosts—which appear in various DAW anthologies, and elsewhere. He’s been on a few paranormal investigations and may have once encountered a demon—which turned out to be research, as he’s the editor of the five volumes in the demon-themed Crimson Pact shared multiverse anthology series. He works full time as a cardiac nurse, but has worked as a copy editor, computer game consultant, and naturally he enjoys speaking about writing at conventions, and doing school visits. Friend him on Facebook or find him online at paulgenesse.com.

Life vs Story

Great SunsetWe’ve seen some incredible stories this month. I know I’ve enjoyed them.

Reading through the posts so far this month, I’ve been left wondering why real life is often so much stranger than fiction. Fiction is make believe, but it has its limits. They’re not the same limits set in our physical world or we’d never accept things like time travel, hobbits, and big magic. Yet those wonderful figments of our imagination are believed and embraced while some events that transpire in real life are rejected as ‘unbelievable’.

Why is that?

In fiction I can have purple unicorns or good fairies or soul-sucking demons and readers will clamor for more. But I cannot have serendipitous coincidences, unexpected miracles, or meaningless tragedy without risking the breakdown of credibility.

As authors it’s a critical element to understand. If we get it wrong, we knock our readers out of the story and they dismiss us as hacks. If we get it right, we suck people into our worlds and spin tales of wonder that can enchant for a lifetime.

First, it’s a matter of setup.

We define our worlds and transport the readers into them. We can set any boundaries we want, and sometimes we set some pretty wild ones.

I developed a story with my kids once that included a completely random magic system. We had a blast with that one because no one had any idea what might come next. It included assault rainbow ponies, fajita blaster go-karts, fifty foot pits of jell-o, and much more. And since we had defined it as a random chance based experience, all of that was believable.

The catch is, once we define the boundaries of a story, we cannot cross them. Once we build a world within those boundaries, everything that happens must be ‘believable’ within the context of that world.

So why are things that happen in everyday life not ‘believable’ in fiction worlds?

That’s the second piece to the puzzle. Life is not story.

Real life is unpredictable, chaotic, and often downright unfair. We don’t know what’s going to happen, and no matter how skilled or prepared or determined the protagonist of our lives might thing we are, there’s no guarantee we’ll win the day, get the girl, or live happily ever after.

A great example for me of the difference is the emotional balance of characters verses the emotional roller-coaster that is life. In a book we don’t like to see characters cry, even though in real life that is a very natural occurrence. We like our protagonists to be level-headed, calm, and kind all of the time, even though many people who should be adults regularly act like spoiled brats or worse.

Third, and most importantly, stories are entertainment. Reality is life.

We escape the stresses and challenges of reality through fiction and therefore it cannot be as unsatisfying as life often is. Authors take readers on an emotional journey that can drag them through the deepest abyss and transport them to the highest levels of heaven, but in the end we need to leave them feeling satisfied or fulfilled. If we don’t, then we’ve failed in our mission.

Life has to be lived, but Story needs to be enjoyed.

Based on a True Story

A guest post by Kevin Ikenberry.

Over the last twenty or so years of military service there have been certain words that do not strike a good chord with me.  Warrior is one.  All soldiers are not warriors, nor are all warriors soldiers.  Operator is another.  Every time I hear that word, I see Mable from The Andy Griffith Show.  Survivor was another, but not from a military perspective.  When I would heard “survivor,” – particularly in stories of cancer – it hurt.  I lost my Mom in 2011 to lung cancer.  From diagnosis to death was less than nine months.  And she gave it hell.  Hearing “survivor” hurt a lot, until it happened to me.

Not cancer.  Something stranger and less understood.

On Sunday, February 17, 2014, my family had several errands to do.  We decided to divide and conquer.  My wife and our oldest would go one way, and me and our then-fourteen month old would go another.  It was about 4:30pm when I felt something familiar.

I grew up in the South, and spent time all over the southwestern United States.  I know what a fire ant bite feels like, and at that moment, I was sure what had happened on my upper right thigh.  When I checked myself, and my jeans, I found nothing.  No ants, no spider, no scorpion.  Nothing except a spot of red, swollen skin the size of a quarter.  I did what any reasonable adult would do.  I assumed it was a bite of some kind, took a Benadryl, and went off to do errands.

Four hours later, I felt exhausted and decided to go to bed.  An hour after that, I began to vomit.  That phase lasted until about 2:30am on Monday, when it switched directions and I developed a fever.  At 5:30am, weak and dehydrated, I told my wife that something was very wrong and I needed to go to the emergency room.  Food poisoning doesn’t come with a fever, and I was scorchingly hot.  With our kids, it was a difficult proposition so I called my neighbor.  He didn’t answer.  Now beyond exhaustion, I fell asleep.

When I woke up two hours later, two things had happened.  My wife had arranged for play dates and babysitters so she could get me to the hospital as soon as I woke up.  That was the good news.  The bad was that something was seriously wrong with my leg.  The red area was now black in spots and the swelling had worsened.  My fever was somewhere north of 103 degrees and I was in pain.  Serious pain.

We arrived at the Emergency Room to find it empty (Hallelujah!).  The nurses took me back for triage, took a good look at me and sent me straight back to treatment.  The attending physician came in, looked at my leg, and left shaking his head.  He returned with the on-call surgeon.

The surgeon said, “That presents (looks) like a rattlesnake bite.”

“I can damned well assure you that’s not what happened,” I said between grimaces of pain.  They started a morphine drip, told me my kidneys had virtually shut down, and placed a cardiac monitor on my chest.  My heart was going crazy.  They started pushing a lot of fluids (four liters!) as well.  Unbeknownst to me, they had also done one very critical thing – they called an infectious disease specialist.

The man who saved my life.

When Pete arrived, he looked at my leg and told the surgeon he was wrong but said that he didn’t know what it was, but he wanted to throw multiple strong antibiotics at it to see what took.  They admitted me straight the to Critical Care Unit, and things got worse.

Within about twelve hours after admission, my temperature kept rising and the swelling on my leg took off.  I won’t detail what it looked like, except that any picture you can find of necrotizing fasciitis will show it pretty well.  My right thigh was almost three times its normal size.  The skin blistered and cracked, turning more black and impressively swollen that you can imagine.  I’ll stop there.

When I woke up Tuesday morning, another doctor stood at the end of my CCU bed and told me point blank that they recently had someone younger than me die of something similar. A few hours later, my temperature crested above 105 degrees.  The nurses packed me in ice, and tried their best to smile.  I held hands with my wife and promised that when I was out of the hospital, we’d do things better.  Parent our kids with more grace, be nicer to each other, and do all of the things we loved to do together.  The things that get lost when there are two kids in the house.  We were scared to death.  My father was out of the country and nervously waiting for word.  We weren’t sure what to tell him.

To this day, I’m convinced that a majority of my medical team did not think I would make it through the night.  But Pete did.  My fever came down to 103, and then all the way down to 99 as the antibiotics took hold.  The team ruled out MRSA when they drained a massive water blister on my leg, but all of the blood cultures taken showed something very unexpected.

Absolutely nothing.

To this day, nothing has grown from those cultures.  The infection responded to the drugs that treat a Group A Streptococcal infection.  This is a good thing, because as Pete put it “Even Lysol still kills Group A Strep.”  I came off the drugs for a staph infection and they moved me up to the medical ward to see if my leg would begin to knit itself back together.

Cleaning and debriding the leg was pure hell.  The wound nurse would come for an hour at a time and just remove skin.  Where my leg blistered and swelled is discolored and bruised to this day, and probably will be for life.  I spent a total of ten days in the hospital before they released me to home care for another two months.  I had IV antibiotics for part of that, and three times a week wound care to treat my healing skin.  I joked that I could have been a leg model for “The Walking Dead.”

At one point, in the CCU, they asked me to step onto a scale.  I weighed over 240 pounds from the swelling and the pushed fluids.  That’s about forty pounds over my normal weight.  It was terrible.

But I began to heal.   Physically, my leg started to heal quickly with expert treatment.  Mentally, I was shot.  I spent a lot of time looking out the window on the Colorado winter wondering what in the hell had happened to me.  I tried to write, but the words would not come.  I tried to play video games, but lost interest within minutes.  I watched movies with a grudging interest for a few weeks until I felt a little better.

What got me through that low time were my friends.  My writing group moved our March meeting to my house.  Visitors came to hang out with me almost every day.  I had emails from all over the world.  A strong note of encouragement came from Clarkesworld editor Neil Clarke (who survived a massive heart attack a couple of years ago).  Writing fiction was a slog.  The words finally began to come.  Before this infection, I completed two separate first draft novels in about nine weeks.  Roughly 120,000 words.  Since my infection, I’ve written about 60,000 words.

It’s still a challenge, but the focus is returning and I’m feeling better every day.  I returned to work in May, and despite a 24-hour relapse and night in the hospital, I’ve been healthy ever since.  I’m still taking antibiotics and trying to gain strength and flexibility in my leg.  It’s a long process, and I’ve returned to swimming for most of it.  The solitude and focus of swimming has helped me turn the corner creatively.  The ideas are flowing again, almost too fast to get down on paper.  That’s a really good thing.  The work is paying off.

At the end of my recovery period, I caught wind of an upcoming horror anthology themed against viruses and bacteria called “Pernicious Invaders” by Great Old Ones Publishing.  Taking my copious experience to heart, I wrote a story over the course of a day and a half and sent it in.  There’s nothing like writing in a query letter that this horror story could have been subtitled “based on a true story.”

My story was accepted before the submission period was closed.  The editor asked to lead the anthology with my story, and I asked if I could add an author’s note.  In the story, the specialist shares a first name with my doctor, Pete.  It was the least I could do to thank him.  He’ll argue that he at least saved my leg, but that the rest was up to me and God.

I still disagree with him.  Without his care, I contend that might not have survived.  We’ll never really know.  What matters is that a word I detested, and struggled against, now applies to me.  I’m a survivor of necrotizing fasciitis, or skin-eating disease.  There are others like me.  This strange bacterial illness strikes one in every couple of hundred thousand people.  Others are not so lucky.  I still haven’t processed that.  I’m not sure that a part of me will ever be able to.

On the bright side, I always labeled myself as science fiction author.  I still haven’t achieved the professional membership requirements for SFWA, but I’m a member of the Horror Writer’s Association now (or will be in the next few weeks once that contract is signed).  This will be my second anthology appearance, and I’m humbled and honored to lead it off.  I hope my tale is scary enough for the reader.  What happened to me sure as hell was.

All in all, the most profound changes are still taking root.  A lot of the things I cared so deeply about before the infection have taken a backseat to more important things.  Family.  Life.  Happiness.  While writing has been difficult, it’s getting easier.  In this case, you could say that I wrote what I knew.  I wish I didn’t know what this was like, but I cannot change it.  My leg will be scarred and discolored for the rest of my life.  It’s a reminder to me.  Everyday life is not found in living every day.  Do the things that really matter and let the rest go.  This life is too short, and too precious, to be squandered.  Before the infection, I was going through the motions.  Yes, I wrote faster and without as much care, but I carried way too many burdens.  It’s amazing what a few days in the hospital and a brush with mortality can do.

Writing about the infection was cathartic.  By taking the infection to an unimaginable extreme, I helped put some of the fear I felt behind me.  The lesson for me in all of this was very simple.  Sometimes life is indeed stranger than fiction, or at the very least makes it an even better story.  Whatever happens, keep writing.

KevinIkenberry.smallGuest Writer Bio:
Kevin Ikenberry’s head has been in the clouds since he was old enough to read. Ask him and he’ll tell you that he still wants to be an astronaut. Kevin has a diverse background in space and space science education. A former manager of the world-renowned U.S. Space Camp program in Huntsville, Alabama and a former executive of two Challenger Learning Centers, Kevin continues to work with space every day as a lieutenant colonel in U.S. Army Reserve. Kevin lives in Colorado with his wife and two daughters.  His home is seldom a boring place. Kevin’s short fiction has appeared internationally through Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine, Mindflights, Twisted Dreams Magazine, AntipodeanSF, and most recently in the anthology Extreme Planets, available from Chaosium. He has completed four novels to date and is actively working to find them a home. Kevin is a member of Fiction Foundry, Pikes Peak Writers, and an alumna of the Superstars Writing Seminar. He can be found online and on Twitter @thewriterike.