Tag Archives: Romance

Letting Love Simmer

While You Were SleepingLisa Mangum’s “First Comes Like” post is directly in line with mine today. When the topic for this month was announced, I thought of two movies whose titles could almost be confused with one another. Both are well-liked by the general populace, both are romances, one I love and the other…not so much. Here’s why:

While You Were Sleeping is a movie I could watch a thousand times (as long as I don’t think about Bill Pullman and Ellen Degeneres in Mr. Perfect), because I get to watch the characters meet, become friends, and over time, fall in love. This is a movie where the romance simmers, making it perfect, beautiful, and believable.

Sleepless in Seattle is another cute romance, with great actors/actresses, and I just felt let down. It seems like two people, drawn together by fate, missing each other right and left, until one of them decides to take a chance on the unknown. This is the movie’s tagline: “What if someone you never met, someone you never saw, someone you never knew was the only someone for you?” That doesn’t come off as romantic to me, just stupid.  As Lisa said in her post “…before love comes along, there is like—in real life, and in fiction.” I feel like their connection in Sleepless is a farce, because even if fate is real, it still requires time and interaction for love to follow fate.  I’m not big on the love at first sight.

The first time I saw my husband was from across a room, he was smiling and had a kind look in his eyes that I admired, and I thought, “I’d like to get to know him.” I didn’t think, “I want to marry him and bear his children.” Love takes time.

As a sci-fi/fantasy/horror writer, I like to have a thread of romance in almost everything I write. Yep, even in my horror. Don’t believe me, read my short story anthology, The Black Side. Physical attraction may come early or late, but emotional attraction is something that either develops because the characters knew each other before the story begins, or they are given time within the story to get to know each other. At the beginning of Frozen, weren’t we all a little shocked and disappointed that Anna spends one evening with Hans and is ready to marry him? But with Kristoff, they talk, annoy each other, save each other, and learn the pros and cons about one another before they fall in love.

Let’s make sure we do that in our stories. Oh, and by the way, romance is NOT sex. Romance is the emotional connection that two people make over time. You want better romance in your books, don’t even think about the sex until your characters love each other so much they can’t imagine being apart. Of course, if the sex is the primary goal, then who needs romance, right? I do.

How about you? I’d love to hear opinions on the path romance should take, and examples of books/movies where they do it right.

As a plus, here’s a post for all you Sandra Bullock/While You Were Sleeping/Working girl fans with a few more reasons why this romcom is one of the best: Yoruba Girl Dancing

For the Love of the Screenplay

A guest post by Tracy Mangum.

I have a confession to make: I don’t like many “romantic” movies. It’s not that I’m unromantic-it’s actually the opposite. The problem is that many “chick flicks” are full of cliches, stock characters, and predictable plots that kill any sense of romance. Most of these films suggest that a woman’s life is meaningless without a man, and that a woman happy being single is simply lying to herself. They teach us that love is only for skinny, beautiful people with straight teeth and perfect hair. The tell us that men are sex-crazed, commitment-phobic animals that have to be manipulated into a romantic relationship. He will ultimately reject the constraints of the relationship and hurt the innocent woman who only wants to care for him. After a period of time, she will begin to move on just as he realizes his mistake, and will demonstrate his newly discovered feelings with grand gestures that straddle the line between affection and stalking.

Romantic comedies too often follow the same plain and boring recipe.

  1. Boy meets girl (He is handsome, she is adorkable – equal parts awkward and adorable)
  2. Girl is obviously perfect for boy, but he doesn’t notice since she is awkward and doesn’t wear makeup
  3. Boy has a girlfriend, but she is a false romantic lead
  4. Girl will consult with the best friend (possible bad gay male stereotype) for advice
  5. Girl will get a makeover that includes a new wardrobe and is now stunning
  6. Boy will now notice girl and unresolved sexual tension begins
  7. Boy will say something stupid and hurt the girl’s feelings
  8. Girl cries and runs away
  9. Boy rejects false romantic lead and chases down girl
  10. Boy makes a large declaration of love – probably in a large urban area where witnesses ooh and ahh.

This formula is as stale as 11:00am movie theater popcorn that’s been reheated from the previous night’s shows. It’s easy to make these films, they cost less to make as they feature little to no explosions and special effects, and audiences will often just eat them up on date night.

So how do you write a successful love story that doesn’t fall into these tropes? You develop complex and interesting characters and dig deep into the wells of emotion buried deep in their hearts.

  1. Give me characters that I can fall in love with, so that when they fall in love with each other, I am already emotionally invested.
  2. Give me a credible reason to keep them apart. It can be anything, class differences, a sinking boat– but if the audience doesn’t buy in, you are dead in the water.
  3. Don’t write long scenes where your characters talk at a restaurant table – make your script as visually exciting to watch as your dialogue is to hear. “Jewel of the Nile” had the actors sliding down mountains and avoiding alligators and “Annie Hall” had the great lobster scene.
  4. Tweak the formula. Be clever and ingenious. “Defending Your Life” has the leads meet in the afterlife. “Sleepless in Seattle” has the couple meet in the last five minutes of the film. “Groundhog Day” has the boy relive the day over and over and over until he gets it right.
  5. Romance means sexy, and comedy means funny. Intimacy – either physical or emotional, leaves people vulnerable, exposed, and can be used for painfully honest comedy that reveal truths about your characters.
  6. Make it actually ABOUT something. Why are you writing about this couple? What about their story reflects some insight into the relations between men and women, or the human condition? What questions are you asking that the the screenplay’s story answers? Is it gender issues like “Tootsie”, or is it the awkwardness of adolescence like “American Pie”- what are you trying to tell us?

Let’s examine one of my favorite romantic films: “Up” by Pixar.

But it’s an animated film, it’s not a romance right? WRONG.

UpThe story begins in the childhood of Carl Fredricksen, whose love of adventure leads him to meet a spunky young girl named Ellie. In the first 20 minutes – a sequence that could easily be removed from the film and win and Oscar by itself – we watch Carl and Ellie meet, fall in love, plan for children and adventures that never come to pass, and eventually grow old together, until Ellie passes away, leaving Carl’s body and soul deflated like a balloon. Grown men are crying in the audience, and not one word has been spoken.

Screen Shot 2015-02-18 at 6.05.32 AM

The house has come to symbolize Ellie to Carl, and he flies her to South America with hot air balloons to fulfill a promise they made to each other to visit there. Along the way, Carl “adopts” a boy scout, a talking dog, a large and awkward bird, and must deal with love, loss, regret, hope, and closure. Ultimately he has to leave Ellie and the house behind and go live his life, and have new adventures on his own. He doesn’t forget Ellie, but he doesn’t have to literally have her attached to him at all times.

The magicians at Pixar had us all thinking this was an innocent kids movie and while we were looking one way, they wallop us with emotions from our blind side. It’s unique, refreshing, and beautiful.

Write from the heart and from the gut. Make it real, make it honest, and make it count.

Tracy MangumAbout Tracy Mangum:

I’m a local Salt Lake City filmmaker and blogger.

My short film “Father Knows Flesh” won Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Actor at the SL Comic Con FanX Film Festival last year. I cover the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Agents of Shield, Gotham, and Disney for Lord of the Laser Sword.

I taught film in SLC for 10 years at LDS Business College.

Movie Kisses

French KissI love movies for how they make me feel, and when I desire a specific feeling, I know exactly what to watch. Not to mention, I’m enough of a movie junkie that I relate practically everything to some moment in a movie. It drives my friends and family a little nuts. But, when I’m needing to tap into some emotion to write a scene, I watch a movie or at least part of one. And, the emotion or inspiration I most often need to tap into is romance.

My guy actually said to me, “It’s just a kiss.” My response was a pretty adamant, “No.”  There are “just kisses’ and then there are KISSES. Kisses that inspire the heck out of me. Kisses that swell the heart and raise the blood pressure. Kisses I want to live and experience. Kisses I want to write about and share with my readers.

The first two are in French Kiss. I love this entire film but when push comes to shove I only need to watch the scene where Meg Ryan kisses Kevin Kline on the train (in this clip, it’s minute 0:36 – 1:08). Earlier he stashed a plant in her purse and he’s trying to get it back. She’s asleep using the purse as a pillow. He tries to weasel his hand into her purse, but she’s dreaming of her boyfriend and kisses Kline unknowingly. His reaction is the part that gets me. At first, he’s just going along with the kiss, but then he kisses her back and is fully engaged. After, he forgets about the plant, sits on the floor and just has this look like his life has been utterly changed by that kiss… and it has. It’s a pivotal moment and just thinking about that kiss now makes my little heart go thumpity-thump.

The second kiss (same clip but jump to minute 3:05) in this film is at the end during the credits when Ryan and Kline are together and working their vineyard. It’s how he kisses her that gets me this time. He has his hands gripping the back of her dress like kissing her is the difference between life and death. It’s passionate, hungry, and desperate in a good way. Guys – it’s a great way to kiss a girl. The world could use more of these kisses. Just saying.

The OutsiderThis next film, The Outsider, is lesser known and based off a book of the same name by Penelope Williamson. It’s about what happens when a widowed woman from an Amish-like group takes in a dying gunslinger and nurses him back to health. The movie is a romance about the woman and the gunslinger, and I love the movie. I loved the kiss so much I wanted to see how it was written, so I read the book. They are only minimally similar, and I didn’t really care for the book. They’re different mediums so I shouldn’t have been as disappointed as I was that the kiss wasn’t in the book… but I was.

The kiss in the movie though…. It’s Naomi Watts and Tim Daly playing the two main characters and the sexual tension starts right away. They’re fighting the attraction though, so it’s a little while in before we get their first kiss (start at minute 7:40 of this clip). She has this bonnet on with long strings for tying hanging down the front of each side and starts talking about how she hears music from the earth. As she’s talking, the way he looks at her is magic. I would love a guy to look at me like that. He runs the strings from her hat through his fingers and when they kiss, it’s that hungry, desperate feeling again. Like the other is the air they need to breath. I love that. This one is actually my first go-to kiss to feed any emotional needs.

Rock of AgesThe last movie is not obvious and it’s not that I even want to be kissed this way, because I really don’t. It’s that it reminds me that kisses and those moments of recognition – when one soul resonates with another soul – don’t have to be pretty or neat. I’m talking about the kiss between Tom Cruise and Malin Akerman. It’s towards the end of the movie when Cruise’s character has come to grips with the fact that his rocker lifestyle is empty and realizes how much he needs this particular woman. For the record, I thought Tom Cruise was amazing in his role as Stacee Jaxx. Anyway, this kiss is ridiculously sloppy and not especially sexy and yet…. You get it. You get that these people are meant to be together and this is more than a kiss. It’s a promise, an acknowledgement of what is between them. So, yeah… I love this one too.

I didn’t use the kiss from Top Gun, but that one is brilliant too. I’m always up for more great kisses to add to my list of emotional sources, so lay’em on me.

The Legend of Great Love: A Look at the Great Romances We Remember and Why They Work

heart 1With this title in mind, I began researching the topic looking for trends as well as doing a little soul-searching since I am a romantic at heart and write romance. I freely admit I am in love with love. In book, movie, poem or song, old or new, happy or tragic, requited or not.  I love love.  And this topic could not have been more timely on a personal level.

Over the weekend I had a discussion with my sweetheart about the word “love’ and while I don’t want to bore you with my life, I do want to explain the filter through which I am currently perceiving this word.  We love our pets, our cars, our friends, and the steak we had for lunch. How can one word cover so many things and hold its meaning? And how does that impact Great Love? The higher love of John Donne’s A Valediction Forbidding Mourning? The enduring love of Shakespeare’s Sonnets? Great Love covers more than common feelings and an over-used word.

When I am told that what someone feels for me is so much more meaningful than what the common word “love’ can possibly convey, I feel Greatly Loved in the capital G, capital L, Great Love kind of way.  That one incredible human being refuses to tell me he loves me because it does disservice to the depth of his emotions regarding me, well… I can tell you I have never been told anything so romantic or heartfelt no matter how contradictory it may sound.

Yet with all the grand  ideas of love and the ideal of Great Love, there is a trend I’m seeing in some of the great legends that bothers  me. I am practical, intelligent and have a firm belief that stupidity is its own reward. So, as I looked at lists of the “great’ romances (a couple sites I perused – Best, 10 Greatest, Top 20, Top 100) I became a little frustrated with how much rampant stupidity was involved.  Perhaps a harsh term, but we’re going to run with it for now. Before you get your big girl or boy panties in a twist, let me say I love most of these stories – rampantly stupid or not. It was just a trend I saw. I will explain. Stay with me.

First, why do these stories endure? I think it’s because they  lead us to a belief in something greater than ourselves. Something selfless and more meaningful than our happiness, than physically being together, than even life itself occasionally.  Something transcendental and eternal. So, while I love (there’s that word again) these stories, I would like to add a counter-balance thought to some of them.

heart 1We’ll alternate between the happy endings and the not-so-happy endings.

♥ Odysseus and Penelope – Time and patience pay off.  Yay. Great Love has no limits. Storms and travels and suitors abound, but Great Love stays the course.

Romeo and Juliet – Happy for the willingness to overcome all obstacles including family and friends’ disapproval to be together. Sad about poor communication.  Warning: Lots of bad communicating ahead and usually in the ones ending tragically. Maybe a lesson to be learned? Communication = Good.

♥ Jane Eyre and Rochester – Disparities in social standing, marital status, money and family situations cannot conquer Great Love. Neither can physical impediments. With time and clarity on what’s important, Great Love will triumph and our lovers will live happily ever after. I love that.

Antony and Cleopatra  – Stormy relations involving love, power and politics.  Something’s got to give and can you really separate them? I don’t know.

♥ Marie and Pierre Curie – Smarts and dedication combined with Great Love can lead to scientific break-throughs and a life well-lived in honor of the Great Love you shared.  Death of one does not have to mean an end to that Great Love.

Lancelot and Guinevere – Again, we have power and politics involved (always messy), and although they didn’t live together at the end, they both lived. As romantic as death seems in the abstract, in reality, I don’t think it’s much of a solution.  And really, relationships founded on cheating on current spouses rarely end well. There’s a lot of this too.

♥ Queen Victoria and Prince Albert – Another Great Love that brought forth greatness in both people when together and the survivor when one died. Sure, Victoria grieved all the rest of her very long life for Albert, but she was a great monarch and paid tribute to her Great Love by continuing on in his memory.

Tristan and Isolde – Kings of any type get the short end of the Great Love stick as their wives keep falling for other guys. I’m gonna say that the risk of jeopardizing a solid relationship as Queen is a pretty big sacrifice to make in the name of love, not to mention it usually also runs the chance of being killed or stuck in a nunnery, you know… for cheating on the king. For the guys too – you risk your life when you fall for the King’s woman. Sacrifice + Risk = Great Love. I guess.

♥ The Dashwood SistersSense and Sensability… Let’s start with Marianne and Willoughby  – stupid.  They may have been in love, but it was a wimpy love with no backbone.  All surface and no substance. Col. Brandon on the other hand, his love is substantial. It waits and is understanding of youth and immaturity.  Once Marianne pulls her head out of her ***, this is a Great Love. Elinor and Edward’s relationship certainly tests friendship and honor and generosity in the face of utter heartache. These two have a Great Love and a happy ending  they’ve earned the hard way.

Scarlett and Rhett – They were a hot mess. But they kept trying and maybe that’s the enduring quality here. Or maybe it’s that despite being a calculating, manipulative, shallow, difficult person, there is someone still willing to love you. No matter what. And if he leaves… well, he’s come back before and tomorrow is always another day. I’m not going to go into the whole Ashley/Melanie aspects. Triangles and trapezoids and daisy-chains of unreciprocated non-sense are not Great Love. I do think Ashley and Melanie had a Great Love that is more honest and worth noting than Scarlett and Rhett’s, but conflict is at the heart of story-telling, so…

♥ Rick and IlsaCasablanca. No, they didn’t end up together, but their sacrifice of Great Love was for the greater good and I can respect that.  Their acts of selflessness mean they can sleep at night knowing they did what was right and not convenient. Rarely is Great Love easy.

Pyramus and Thisbe – Wow for misperception and jumping to wrong conclusions a smidge too soon. This is one of those “stupidity is its own reward’ stories for me. I don’t see the romance in this one unless you want to say that life is meaningless without your Great Love.  Whatever.

♥ Nickie and TerryAn Affair to Remember. When all hope is gone, you discover you were wrong and love may not be waiting for you atop a building, but it is pretending nothing is wrong when it wants to run to you and can’t. If you don’t get it… watch the movie. I cry every time.

Cathy and Heathcliff – So, Scarlett and Rhett had nothing on Cathy and Heathcliff as hot messes went. They are both completely flawed and selfish. Neither gives two hoots about anyone but themselves and their Great Love. That could be the enduring trait – Great Love at all costs.  Including other partners, siblings, parents, children and let’s throw in some animals and servants for good measure. Why not? They completely destroyed themselves and everyone around them. And not that the other people are blameless, they didn’t have to stick around for it. Everybody involved seemed to think love was a weapon of mass destruction. For the record, I still love this one… just pointing out some alternate thoughts.

♥ Charlie and RoseThe African Queen. Great Love is not always handsome or beautiful. It is not always romantic in the traditional sense. Sometimes, it’s a lonely alcoholic running a crappy boat up and down a river building something with a high-handed sanctimonious spinster. Building something out of strength and respect and courage.  Hell yeah, sometimes Great Love endures because it fought to survive.

There are many reasons these stories endure, many reasons we want to cling to the idea of Great Love. Maybe I touched on some, maybe not. I’m open to discussion. Anyone got some other Great Love couples they want to mention and why? I’d love to hear about them.