A guest post by Holly Dawn Hewlett.

What is the greatest gift I’ve received as a writer? It is always a dangerous thing to ask any artist this question. As artists, we are affected and marked by everything we encounter. What comes to mind when I see this question is the unspoken expectation of the asker, “And can I use this gift in my career?” I would answer that anytime someone takes the time to consider “the greatest of anything” that has affected them, that you have a rare opportunity to add to those experiences that affect and mark you!

For me, the greatest gift I have received as a writer is fortitude. This fortitude has come in the form of humans and experiences throughout my life. As with most writers, my work is like pouring my blood on a page and hoping not to be a victim of a public execution! As strong as I am, as much as I have to put words to page….I cringe at releasing my work to world. They haven’t birthed it, they haven’t agonized over the consonants and vowels, and they haven’t sat in the darkness as their muse exacts her price for this gift.

My journey with fortitude began early. Writing kept me from killing myself or anyone else during my childhood. I could write anything and get all the horror and pain out, which made space for beauty. I was a gifted student in the ghetto of Philly, fresh from divorced parents, a country bumpkin living in a truck camper on an empty lot with my mom, 3 brothers and several cousins. Until I turned 13, less than a handful of people EVER saw my writings, and no one saw all of it.

Thankfully, English classes require you to write, so from 7^th grade on, my teachers knew of my writings. One of these, Mrs. Sheridan made me apply for the R Stewart Rausch program at Temple University. Little did I know I was about to find my lifelong mentor Lonnie Moseley. This program took ghetto kids who were gifted and let them go to college in the summer! I was in Heaven! Lonnie took each of us, found our passion and fanned it with all the resources at her disposal. She also didn’t shy away from the reality of our daily lives….abuse, broken homes, drugs, and death. For the first time in my life I could show someone ANY of my writings and not be afraid of reprisal or ridicule! This gave me the strength to leave the ghetto. To go explore the world and find my voice.

My journey continued onto the road. I spent 26 years driving a tractor trailer. It you don’t have fortitude or self-reliance when you start, you will either have it or be dead within 30 days. I loved the road, the indescribable beauty of our country and its peoples, and the challenge everyday of what the day may bring. One of my greatest experiences was finding thousands of other truckers who were writers! There is something about reading a poem into a mic at 3 am going down the road that is cathartic and completely unnerving! Unbelievably, you find out there are countless others who feel just like you.

At 32 years old, I finally had the chance to go to college! I experienced the most unnerving incident of my writing career! Apparently, when you are concentrating and learning anew, unless you are endeavoring in creativity- The brain will shut off sectioned to handle the new stress load being placed on it! The chance of a lifetime (for me) eagerly looking forward to the next 4 years…AND I COULD NOT WRITE! NOT ONE BLOODY RHYME! Not even a couplet! I sat in my dad’s kitchen and sobbed, he of course was dumbfounded. Thankfully, I went to my English Prof Adele Mery, who explained that this happened all the time. She turned me onto a Stephen King book, Nightmares in the Sky http://www.amazon.com/Nightmares-Sky-Grotesques-Stephen-King/dp/0670823074 Even the great writer Stephen King had experienced writers block! I took everyone’s advice and tried to just not think about it. Low and behold, about 5 months into my first year—My Muse came back with a vengeance! THANK YOU UNIVERSE!

During these years my fortitude was beaten, bruised, and tempered. I, an out and proud, take no shit Woman and Lesbian…was attending college in South Texas, the only state that has had a criminal statute for just BEING Gay! AND, The University of Texas Pan American, was 93% Roman Catholic. Most of the time my fellow students were waiting for me to burst into a pillar of flames! They let you know real quick that you could wind up dead, but I gave as good as I got and have some awesome scars to tell my grandkids about! Yet, my defining moment wasn’t in school, it was at home; my dad asked me to use a pen name so his customers wouldn’t know it was his daughter writing all this gay and political poetry! I remember going to my room, crying for a couple hours and then there is that moment: I dried my eyes and said Never! I had never hid before then and I wasn’t going to start now. I had the support of my Best Friend, Clancy Metzger, who is also a writer. We are both warriors, each time one of us is weary of the fight the other one grabs the scruff of the neck and pulls you back up and shoves your quill back in your hand and says, “Put on your big girl pants and suck it up!”

I have not looked back since! I look the world in the eye. I speak my truth, and if it helps someone else…I have created a piece of beauty and saved a life! It is not easy, but I can look myself in the mirror and know that that nightmare is NOT speaking, Not writing, not living my truth.

So, speak your truth, stick your chin out, look the world in the eye….fortitude is of no use if you don’t strengthen it with a good work out now and then!

Guest Writer Bio:
Holly Dawn Hewlett is a published poet, Slivers of My Soul on Amazon.com. Her passions are print media, Pitbulls, and Reduce Reuse and Recycle! She is an Energy Consultant for Ambit Energy, working to save people money on their electricity and natural gas bills, check out www.Killthemeter.energy526.com

Mean Salvation

December 12, 2013

Ace Jordyn

Ace Jordyn Character Conflict Craft & Skills 3 Comments

Every new author’s challenge is to learn to tell a story well and to do so with a passionate heart. There are reams of advice on the internet, in how-to-write books, from writers groups and at conventions, workshops and seminars. Knowing basic plot structure is quick to learn but how does one navigate character depth and writing with a passionate heart?

When I was starting out, I went to my first writers group meeting with a completed 100,000 word novel. Someone offered to read it for me. I was ecstatic. The reader had some valuable insights: 1) don’t let your characters be stupid. It sounds harsh but it wasn’t. Given the incident she was referring to it made perfect sense and it was an easy fix; 2) characters need to be consistent and logical; and 3) you must be mean, even cruel to your characters.

Permission to be mean??? I was both ecstatic and mortified. How could I embrace this? I don’t like conflict. Reading fairy tales as a kid, I was so relieved when the happy endings came – I wanted the conflict to be over so I could relish those sweet but short utopias. Yet, those words of permission filled me with relief – I no longer had to be nice, the peacemaker, making everyone happy somehow through their struggle. I was never so nice to my characters that they were wimpy and the story was without conflict but I hadn’t gone far enough.

Permission to be mean was permission to delve deep into a character’s psyche, to understand their deepest fears, anxieties and painful back story. It was about not feeling guilty because the characters I loved had to experience trouble and pain.

Understanding that it was my responsibility to look into a character’s deepest fears and to throw them into the pits of emotional hell and physical danger made me a better writer. When I now read the how-to books and columns, I understand they are challenging us to search for those emotional pits of hell within ourselves, to be honest enough so we can make our characters sweat through them. For example, this spring I took a one day workshop with Donald Maass based on his book Writing 21^st Century Fiction: High Impact Techniques for Exceptional Storytelling. That workshop was like being in therapy. We were asked questions similar to ‘What is the most painful secret you have? Where can you make your character feel what you are feeling right now?’

It’s a mean salvation for a writer – as we dig deeper and challenge our characters and are mean to them emotionally and physically, we are challenging our inner selves and are digging deeper into our own psyches.

The advice I was given when I started out makes sense now – if I dig deep within myself to understand emotional truth, dig deep within my character (my character isn’t me and her emotional truth isn’t necessarily mine), if I dig deep into the emotional realities of life (and they can be cruel), if I let my characters experience what they need, then I will be true (and logical) to my characters and my readers will experience a satisfying emotional journey. The added bonus was that I could now more easily ramp up conflict and tension.

Mean salvation – that’s the best way I can describe that first advice. We all live it, we write it and in our hearts, we know it. My favorite books make me live through those dark, awkward and painful moments with a character and in the end I embrace their journey although not all endings are sweet. Their catharsis is my catharsis. Their pain is my pain. Their salvation is my salvation.

It’s not like the song lyrics “you’ve got to be cruel to be kind” it’s that we’ve got to be cruel to be real, to dig down deep and face what makes us and our characters emotionally real. It’s mean salvation.

The Tools You Use Can Change Everything

December 11, 2013

clancy

Clancy Metzger Motivation Writing Tools 1 Comment

Years ago when I was still in the I-Want-To-Be-A-Writer-But-I’m-Not-Writing-Yet phase, I had a crappy desktop computer. It was old, it was big, it was slow and to use it, I had to sit in a less than comfortable chair at a less than comfortable desk. I didn’t write much. Then I met someone and we began collaborating on a book together. I was inspired and writing – at last. It was not ideal and while I was at least following my dream to be a writer, it was still a struggle. The tools I had available were slowing me down.

Not too far into the process, I was visiting with my dad who lived in another state and I rarely got to see. In talking about how I was doing, I mentioned my struggle with my computer. My dad was always a techie, even when tech was barely available. He told me I should have a laptop computer. I scoffed – first, because I was not very tech savvy at the time and second, because I had no money to buy a laptop. Heck, the crappy desktop I had was a hand-me-down. So, I kept plugging away at the story I was writing and doing the best with what I had.

A few weeks later, I received a way-early Christmas present. Two large boxes arrived on my doorstep that contained a brand new laptop with all the bells and whistles and a new printer to go with it. Just remembering that day is making me cry as I type this.

My dad had invested in my dream. In my future – as a writer. He believed in me and gave me the tools to go for it. No excuses. That was such an amazing gift. I finished that book on that laptop in a big comfortable chair in my bedroom and a character was added to it that was inspired by my dad.

Since then, I’ve received many gifts of faith and support in my writing, but that first gift from my dad gave me the confidence and responsibility to believe in myself. Investments in my dream since have included attending the Superstars Writing Seminar and recently getting a newer laptop, though I’ll never part with the one my dad gave me. My dad died several years ago, but not before he got to read that first book I ever wrote.

Your tools are important and can make all the difference in the world, but then so can one person’s belief in you.

The Gift of a Different Path

December 10, 2013

fictorians

Dylan Blacquiere The Writing Life 3 Comments

A guest post by Dylan Blacquiere

When I was younger, I dreamed of being a professional author. I dreamed, like many I knew, of seeing my name on placards in the book store announcing my latest signing, of getting invitations to the book talk programs on public radio, of being the next Robertson Davies or Mordecai Richler. An Important Author. The thought comforted me through some difficult times, and for a great part of my life, I thought of my studies and my career as the prelude to my Great Discovery. And I did write; I won some writing contests and managed to enter, and complete, the three-Day Novel Contest twice. A good start.

But there came a time when day-to-day life intruded, as it always does, and writing became just one of the many things that I needed to accomplish in any given day. My wife, who has similar aspirations of making a career as a writer, dealt with this by diving headlong into the Business – she set aside writing time each day, found contests to enter, and ultimately has found some success by getting some publications in anthologies. She knows that this will be her main career, and that with enough success and good fortune, she will be able to make a career as a professional author.

My greatest gift, however, is in learning that my path is different.

I’m struck by how many people start out with dreams like mine and who, like me, find that life gets in the way. It can be an excuse, of course. If the dream is strong enough, then one will find the time and the will to press forward. But sometimes there are extenuating circumstances. Sometimes you realize that a dream is not enough to carry you forward. In my case, I don’t want my writing to be my primary focus. I am also a stroke neurologist, and that demands time and attention if I want to be excellent at that role. Soon I will be dealing with all sorts of responsibilities and duties at work that are as important to me and to my aspirations as the name on the placard ever was. Other people face similar dilemmas, and others fall into the worst of both worlds – they neglect the one in favour of the other, and they end up tainting both. The pursuit of writing as a business takes discipline and focus and time, but so do the other things.

When I realized this, that being truly excellent at either of these goals would require a level of devotion that would harm the other, I knew that I had to make a choice, and I chose medicine. It meant that I had to give up the straightforward path to the dream I had when I was younger, and that I likely won’t be able to devote the time and the focus in the same manner as my wife does; nor will I see the rewards that seemed worth anything. There is a certain grief for that, and I can’t entirely shake the feeling that I’m justifying giving up in some fashion.

However, the more that I think about it, the more that realization seems like the greatest gift that I have received as a writer. Not everyone gets to be top of the charts, after all, and not every creative outlet needs to be in service of a career. Knowing my limits has freed my work to be more personally satisfying; when I do write, I can write knowing that it isn’t carrying my livelihood on its shoulders. I can explore other outlets for my creativity that fall outside of the traditional publishing model. There is a growing field of narrative medicine, studying how the way we tell stories leads to better health care, and I have started to explore this in earnest as part of my work in neurology. As well, health care needs good writing too; being able to write clearly and coherently about how medicine works makes me an ideal person to write things like blogs or newspaper columns that help people navigate the health care world that I know so well. And of course, there is always something to be said about writing for writing’s sake; the gift of just putting words on paper, even if for no one else than one’s self, is sometimes hard to remember when we talk about things like sales margins and promotional materials.

I’ve realized that I, personally, have to let some of those old dreams go. But that’s left me free to find other ways that writing can be a part of my professional and personal lives. I don’t mean to suggest that everyone needs to be a hardcore realist about it; for some people, taking the chance on becoming a professional author is the only way for them to be true to themselves. But for the rest of us, the realization that there are other paths, that the creative urge doesn’t have to lead down only the one road – what else can that lead to but self-awareness and contentment? It can be a gift to learn where your limits are, and it can bring with it another gift – learning where other roads can take you. I’m glad that I learned those lessons when I did. They aren’t for everyone, but for some of us, they are precious beyond compare.

Dylan Blacquiere Bio:
Dylan Blacquiere is a fellow in stroke neurology at the University of Ottawa, soon to be a full-time stroke neurologist in New Brunswick. He has worked on research projects involving writing, metaphor and medicine, including an examination of how people who have survived cancer treatment use metaphor in telling their stories. He has published short stories in “In Our Hands”, an anthology of medical writing, writes a monthly newspaper column on life in medicine for The

Northern Star Newspaper in Central Queens, PEI, and twice won the Cynthia Davis Writing Prize in medical school. He does have several writing projects on the go, but suspects they will be done in good time.